Single, With Special Circumstances?

I received a lot of private responses to my last blog post regarding online dating.

What was interesting was that the majority of the responses talked about why they were using online dating in the first place: health issues.

A couple of people shared about their physical disabilities and how seeking dating opportunities the old fashioned way seemed nearly impossible (clubs, bars and so forth).

Another shared that she just didn’t have the energy to go out and meet people, literally, because she suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome. These “special circumstances,” as two people stated, has led them to redefine what being single means.

This did get me thinking about my own definition of being single.

I also have a chronic health issue, but never considered allowing it to factor into my dating life. The reality is that I just don’t talk about it. It’s not something external, so why mention it? But, I realized, I don’t want to come off as weak or defective if I brought it up in conversation. Would I be considered damaged goods to the guy I was getting to know if I disclosed what was going on too soon? It seems much easier to have to cancel an outing because I was under the weather instead of saying my health issue was kicking my butt that day.

I see I need to let that way of thinking go. I don’t have to be defined by an ailment or at least not in a negative way. It does make me wonder, though, who else out there has allowed, either positively or negatively, their “special circumstances” to define their singlehood.