Measured In Giggles and Scoops!

Many of us strive to create balance in life. As the saying goes: All work and no play would make Jack a dull boy. Conversely, all play and no work would make him foolhardy—especially to anyone with a strong work ethic.

I have a strong work ethic. Sometimes, it’s a burden not an asset, but fortunately, age and life experience have brought wisdom. I now know that having “free-and-easy” stretches scattered along life’s journey is a good thing.

No one wants a moniker of dull. Few would choose irresponsibility. What we want is a healthy balance in life. I certainly do.

As the years fly by, I find myself drawn more and more to the playful side, wondering how to tip the scales in that direction without upsetting the proverbial apple cart of responsibility in the process. Grandchildren certainly make moving to that side of the equation easier.

I spent a considerable part of my life straddling the work/play fence attempting to succeed in both arenas—less risky than walking a tightrope maybe, but no less stressful. Therein lies my real issue – stress. Stress to perform, to accomplish, to succeed, to acquire, to produce something of value. It takes its toll.

I wonder. What exactly is success? What constitutes value and achievement? And on whose scale are they measured anyway? Mine or someone else’s? Am I so over-programmed I don’t recognize success when it stares me in the face?

The media bombards me with images of what success is supposed to look like, consistently ascribing it monetary value, trying to brainwash me into thinking my view of success somehow falls short. Dollars and possessions–if I have those–I’ve made it.

High paid athletes and rock stars rank higher on the success scale than teachers. McMansions, those ugly icons of excess, measure business acumen.

Authors scribe volumes on how to succeed. Do "this or that," follow these "quick and simple steps," and success will be mine—oh, and I’ll be happy and wealthy too.

Maybe real success is simple. Maybe I have the wrong definition.

Over 100 years ago, a woman named A.J. “Bessie” Stanley wrote an essay on “What Constitutes Success.” She won $250 and notoriety for her entry. The Lincoln Sentinel published her words on November 30, 1905. They are worth reprinting here:

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much;

who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;

who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;

who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it;

who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;

whose life was an inspiration;

whose memory a benediction.”

No mention of monetary achievement or material gain, greed or competition. Only observations about living life to its fullest capacity.

A similar message caught my attention at a recent memorial service. The speaker suggested that at some point in life each of us painted a mental picture of what we expected our life to look like in the future. Then life happened and that picture changed. She said measuring against our original yardstick was futile, living a successful life meant recalculating and recalibrating.

So I ask myself: Where do I want to go, and how will I know when I get there?

I have a small sign collection. One reads: have hope, be strong, laugh loud, play hard, live in the moment, smile often, dream big, remember you are loved and never, never give up. But my favorite boldly declares ice cream fixes everything.

So I ask you – what could possibly constitute more success or happiness in life than an afternoon with giggling grandchildren or a sugar cone with two scoops of pistachio gelato?

Real success is having both!