No Longer In The Dark

Why is it that sometimes a simple task, or at least something that appears simple, turns out to be anything but? Hanging Christmas lights for example.

I know many of you can relate.

For years, I put single candlelights in my windows (simple and elegant and very east coast), but where I live now doesn’t have the right kind of windows. This year I decided to string lights along the top of my picket fence and hang icicles under the eaves above my porch. Little white lights have a fairyland look about them that I love.

I calculated how many feet and how many extension cords I needed and headed to the hardware store. I came home with two boxes of 100 Constant ONä ultra bright miniature lights–the kind that are supposed to stay lit even if one becomes loose–a box of icicle lights, clips and an extension cord. I was confident I could do the lights quickly.

I started with a fence. Simple? Not.

A few feet from the end of the first section, I realized I’d misjudged and had too many lights left over, bunched together in a lump. Annoyed with myself, I started restringing them to include the end posts and ended up exactly right. I connected the lights to an extension cord and plugged them in. Wahoo! Two tries, but they looked great—for approximately three minutes.

I cannot explain it, but suddenly the bulbs at one end were very bright and at the other very dim. I had no idea what was wrong, but set about to troubleshoot the problem. I checked the electrical connection and began testing individual bulbs to see if one was loose (despite the claim on the box). Within minutes, the entire middle section of the string went out. The bulbs were black—obviously defective.

Back to the store.

Draping the lights for the third time went fast. When I finished and plugged them in, they lit up perfectly, and I moved on to the next section. I’m sure you know what happened. The second string of my original purchase did exactly the same thing.

Trip No. 3 to the store—my frustration on the rise.

Did I mention that I started this project in daylight? By the time I finished the fence it was almost dark. However, delighted with my progress I decided to keep going. A neighbor had hung icicles at her house a few days earlier, and had shown me how to use "no ladder" clips and a telescoping pole. It seemed easy enough.

It wasn’t difficult, but it was tricky because not all the eave ends were the same width. Several hours later, hungry, hands and feet cold and arms aching from reaching overhead with the pole, it was obvious that in order to make it not look skimpy I needed another box of icicles. Too late for yet another trip to the store, I quit for the night.

The next day, certain it wouldn’t take long to finish, I picked up a box of icicles and more clips, but in my haste I mistakenly grabbed multi-colored icicles instead of white ones, which I didn’t discover until I opened the box at home. Arghhh! 

On my fourth trip to the hardware store, the Customer Service woman greeted me by name.

I ended up re-hanging the icicles to get them right, and surprise surprise, it was dark again when I finished, but I finished. My lights looked great. It was worth the trouble. When I hang them next year, it really might be simple.

Oh, one of my other neighbors wants lights and icicles at his house. I offered my help. Why not, I’m experienced now, but to be safe, I’ll start earlier so I won’t be working in the dark.