James R. Neal, the cowboy who gathered more than 1,000 petitions with the hopes to prevent a smoking ban from passing in the Mountain View City Council, has decided to use another route to get his point across—poetry.
Here's his 'Dr. Seuss inspired 'Smoking Sam' poem, which he read during the Oral Communications from the public section.
One day I went to Mountain View,
City Council to see what was new,
They were going to pass a smoking ban,
“Hey that’s not cool”, I told the man,
They looked at me with angry eyes,
Some activist shouted “Hey! Who’s that guy?”,
I proudly said, “My name is Sam!”,
“I’m here to stop the smoking ban!”,
“I’ve read the bill and it’s no surprise”,
“The science behind it has holes and lies”,
Then I heard the gavel slam,
And someone shouted, “I don’t like Sam!”
“I do not like his cigarette breaks”,
“I do not like the puffs he takes”,
“I do not like him here or there”,
“I do not like him anywhere!”,
So then I thought “If I use reason”,
“Maybe I can end this mean season”,
I said, “Listen please, I have some questions”,
“About the things your ordinance mentions”,
“For instance, can I smoke on a train?”,
“Can I smoke on a plane?”,
“Can I smoke on a boat?”,
“Can I smoke in a bar?”,
“Can I smoke in a car?”,
“Can I smoke in my home?”,
“If I am living there alone?”,
Some replied with a blank stare,
Some replied with an angry glare,
One turned bright angry red,
Before he spoke to me and said,
“You cannot smoke on a train”,
“You cannot smoke on a plane”,
“You cannot smoke on a boat”,
“You cannot smoke with a goat”,
“You cannot smoke in a bar”,
“You cannot smoke in a car”,
“You cannot smoke in your home”,
“Even if you are living there alone”,
“You cannot smoke here or there”,
“You cannot smoke anywhere!”,
“I will impose my smoking ban”,
“Because I do not like you Smoking Sam”,
“I will make you smoke in the rain”,
“Or in the cold till you feel the pain”,
“Of frosty winter’s angry bite”,
“Then I shall smile with delight”,
“I will make you walk up and down the street”,
“Till blisters form upon your feet”,
“You see I know what’s best for you”,
“And now your smoking days are through!”,
“Who cares about the Constitution?”,
“I’ll nullify it with this resolution!”,
“I do not like you Smoking Sam”,
“So I will pass my smoking ban”,
It was then I knew my freedom was lost,
So I walked out into the frost,
Went to the mountains full of snow,
The temperature was 10 below,
Although there was no one for miles around,
Still I feared to make a sound,
I struck a match and lit my smoke,
Thinking: “Freedom’s now become a joke!”.
